Subject: Ode to Duffy

 

 

 

Fluffy Duffy sat in the House

 

Fluffy Duffy was a real louse.

 

Trying to figure “Where is his home?”

 

On taxpayers’ money he continued to roam.

 

 

 

Wheeling and dealing like Wallin and Mac

 

But all of a sudden he seemed to lose track.

 

Of how much he took and where it all went

 

Said he had no idea how it got spent.

 

 

 

 

So back to the trough to try to get more

 

Said to his wife “We’ll never be poor”

 

The rules are unclear and colleagues so dumb

 

From PEI, I’ll tell them I’m from.

 

 

 

Two principal homes he claimed to possess

 

Saying if he gets caught he’ll never confess.

 

He feared he might have a big heart attack

 

So the money he’ll need, and not give it back.

 

 

 

Then along came that scoundrel, Robert S. Fife

 

His nosing around upset Fluffy’s life.

 

He blabbed to the world, Fluffy’s nothing but dirt

 

And God only knows how much that hurt.

 

 

 

He prodded and poked, and gossip he bought

 

Fluffy had no idea he’d ever get caught.

 

“He’s an honest man”, Harper he claimed

 

Fluffy’s response to them all was “I have been defamed”.

 

 

 

When it seemed to them all that Fluffy was done

 

The mess he was in was not really fun.

 

They thought they had brought him, down to his knees

 

Till Harper sent Nigel, with his 90 g's.

 

 

 

So off he did run, right up to the bank

 

Still trying to figure just who to thank.

 

Taxpayers, or Harper or Nigel his “friend”

 

But they all remained silent, right up to the end.

 

 

 

The money he took has thus been put back

 

So the auditors now will cease to attack.

 

Fluffy’s honesty, integrity, and all he’s stood for

 

Is now in his cabin behind a locked door.

 

 

 

They’ll not snoop around, it is plain for to see

 

As the help he now has, from R-C-M-P.

 

His Senator friends may give him a fine

 

But do as they wish, he’ll never resign.

 

 

 

With an exorbitant salary which they’ll never freeze

 

He continues along and cheats as he please.

 

Double dipping he’ll show you, can be so easy

 

When a Senator learns just how to be sleazy.

 

 

 

With taxpayers’ dollars he’s now off the hook,

 

And he’ll make some more money when he publishes a book.

 

And it’s onward and upward, he’ll never be blue

 

As he continues his game and make fools out of you.

 

 

 

You can’t kiss him goodbye while he’s still alive

 

Until of course, when he’s seventy-five.

 

But by then you will see, before he is off,

 

He’ll continue to feed, till he empties the trough.

 

 

 

It can’t get much better as he’s still hale and hearty

 

He got where he is as a “friend” of the party.

 

They covered his back, as the truth they can’t tell,

 

So, unless you’re a Tory, go directly to hell.

 

 

(Courtesy of a friend)